Desperately Hopeless

- originally written May 7, 2006 -

i've written one poem after another
sometimes i wonder why i even bother
i cant seem to figure any of it out
its seems like such a repetitive route

i tell myself that your much too dim
i tell myself that my anger is over the brim
anger at the way you cant see the potential
at the way that your blindness is so sequential

i tell myself that im so over you
i tell myself that our chance is past due
im over the way that you just cant see me
and the chance has passed, of what we could be

but i guess im just lying to myself
i guess im hopeing that it'll hide itself
cuz your still what occupies my every thought
your still the reason my days are so distraught

i wish there was some way
i could stop my every thought
from being about you, some way

but i feel so desperately hopeless
i want to give up, i want it to be over
i just dont know what else i can do

i almost want to come out and tell you
i wish i could just put it into plain view
and beg you to finally open your eyes and see
that standing rite here in front of you is only me

but im so afraid of the answer that'll make my heartbeat slow
so afraid that you'll say exactly what i already know
that i dont mean to you what i wish i did
that im just some little insignificant kid

and although i already know this to be true
trust me, i know this through and through
but its when you actually say it that my life will quake
it is then that my heart will completely break

and then what will i do
and then where will i go
when i cant even pretend anymore
that there is a chance
i might mean something to you