For most of my life, I have been writing a novel entirely in my own head. At some point I started writing down a few tidbits, a few fragments so that I could be sure they wouldn't get lost somewhere in my memory. These are some of those fragments in no particular order of plot-line.
May 7, 2013
Outside, the skies are letting loose, letting go. In here, I'm doing everything in my power to keep it all from falling to pieces.
May 10, 2013
The world is so cruel, so full of anger and hate. But you... You are forgiveness.
June 25, 2013
I seem to be spiraling backwards... Or, is it that I am being dragged?
June 25, 2013
I have searched through all the languages of the world. None contain the words I require to describe the depths of my love for you.
July 10, 2013
Tumhari awaz se he meri dardkan chalte hain.
(It is by the sound of your voice that my heart beats)
July 13, 2013
And it was at that moment that I knew. With this signature, there would be no coming back from it. I was an adult now.
July 13, 2013
Tumhari aankon se meri subha charte hai.
(It is in your eyes that I see the morning sun rise)
July 14, 2013
Tumhe kya khaber ke ye bechain aankain kitne bar din mein gharde ko takte hain tumhari intazar mein.
(There is no way you could know how frequently these eyes look to the clock, waiting for when they can look at you)
July 18, 2013
Tere haathon se meri taqdeer likhi jate hai.
(It is by your hand that my destiny is written)
July 19, 2013
Tere jism mein meri rooh ko pana milte hai.
(It is in your body that my soul finds a home)
July 20, 2013
I need to feel your skin stretch around my skin.
I need to feel you underneath my fingernails.
July 21, 2013
As all the pain from all those years and the peace of this one moment collide, I am left transcended.
July 28, 2013
That piece of music, right there, was the anthem of our entire generation. It was the rhythm of our heartbeats. The fire we could see in each others eyes and nod in recognition that we were all the children of the same circumstance.
July 28, 2013
Devoid of physical human contact, the body has no choice but to turn on itself. Its first victim will be its own mind.
August 15, 2013
There are things in this world more lethal than love, but none more torturous.
August 2013
The things we do for absolution, the people we go to, these say more about our sins than the sins themselves.
August 15, 2013
There are secrets hidden behind, under, and in between words. Be wary as you delve into those secrets, as they may tell you more about yourself than you ever wished to know.
August 15, 2013
...In the way that you are my soul.
August 15, 2013
There it is, the answer to all my questions from all my life. But, I'm cautious, could it be so simple? So long searching, and here it is?
September 6, 2013
Ye wo haath hain jo hamesha tumhari duaa mein uthain gey.
(These are those hands that are always raised in prayer for you)
September 7, 2013
Is it art that brings out the longing in me? Or, is it the longing that pulls me towards art?
September 7, 2013
...And before I hit the ground, I stopped.
September 17, 2013
The wishes I never dared to make. The whispers I never dared to speak. The words I never dared to write. The places I never dared to go. The thoughts that people told me I couldn't have. The peace the world tried to convince me didn't exist. The belief I never could accept. Everything. He is everything.
September 21, 2013
I often try to convince myself that if I can just come up with enough words, I could fill the distance between us. The thousands of miles, as you and I reside on opposite sides of the world. But the truth remains that I will remain held in a state of incomplete until I can once and for all hold you in my arms. Until I can feel your heart beating next to mine. Until you are mine and I am yours to hold forever, unparted. Until you can look into my eyes and see and know that the soul that resides in my body is not mine, but yours. Until I can leave this skin and become yours.
September 26, 2013
One minute. One minute. One minute. I cannot reiterate that enough, just one minute. That's all I want. That's all it takes. But, that's a lie. What I really want is millions of minutes. A whole long lifetime of minutes. And even that wont be enough.
October 8, 2013
Sometimes, I am afraid to read poetry. I'm afraid it might find me. The "me" that I'm looking for. I'm scared that it may change my life.
November 26, 2013
In that moment just before sleep, when my breathing is completely level and my eyelids couldn't open if they wanted to, just as all that I am about to give into sweet slumber, you float across my mind, a smile flutters at my lips, and I sink.
January 28, 2014
When you come from such darkness, your greatest fear is that you will never become the light.
February 12, 2014
I don't want to live here or there. Why can't I make my home in your arms?
February 25, 2014
You can cry and cry until you can't cry any more. And then, that's it. You just can't cry anymore. You eventually have to get up and go.
March 4, 2014
One day, I want to forgive myself. I don't know how to, yet. But maybe no one does at the age of 26. Maybe it will take another 26 years.
June 18, 2014
I wonder if, in the space of this lifetime, I will be able to tell you that I love you enough times.
Oct 6, 2014
It's as if I've spent my whole life as loose particles and it's not until you touched me that I solidify.
Oct 29, 2014
If I burn this place down, will I finally be free or with it inflame my demons further?
March 26, 2015
A kiss of comfort, in that moment, would have been quite cruel. I, the giver of the kiss, would be relieved that I had given comfort. The receiver, however, with this act of pity, may be pushed farther into feelings of ineptitude.
April 13, 2015
At times, the world gets so big that all seven billion people on it are so far away.
April 21, 2015
I am starting to discover that life is easier when you don't stand up for yourself. The less you struggle against, the less struggles you have.
July 14, 2019
I wish I could ask you to tell me what I need to know.
July 14, 2019
Sometimes, it takes too long to admit to yourself what you already knew.
May 7, 2013
Outside, the skies are letting loose, letting go. In here, I'm doing everything in my power to keep it all from falling to pieces.
May 10, 2013
The world is so cruel, so full of anger and hate. But you... You are forgiveness.
June 25, 2013
I seem to be spiraling backwards... Or, is it that I am being dragged?
June 25, 2013
I have searched through all the languages of the world. None contain the words I require to describe the depths of my love for you.
July 10, 2013
Tumhari awaz se he meri dardkan chalte hain.
(It is by the sound of your voice that my heart beats)
July 13, 2013
And it was at that moment that I knew. With this signature, there would be no coming back from it. I was an adult now.
July 13, 2013
Tumhari aankon se meri subha charte hai.
(It is in your eyes that I see the morning sun rise)
July 14, 2013
Tumhe kya khaber ke ye bechain aankain kitne bar din mein gharde ko takte hain tumhari intazar mein.
(There is no way you could know how frequently these eyes look to the clock, waiting for when they can look at you)
July 18, 2013
Tere haathon se meri taqdeer likhi jate hai.
(It is by your hand that my destiny is written)
July 19, 2013
Tere jism mein meri rooh ko pana milte hai.
(It is in your body that my soul finds a home)
July 20, 2013
I need to feel your skin stretch around my skin.
I need to feel you underneath my fingernails.
July 21, 2013
As all the pain from all those years and the peace of this one moment collide, I am left transcended.
July 28, 2013
That piece of music, right there, was the anthem of our entire generation. It was the rhythm of our heartbeats. The fire we could see in each others eyes and nod in recognition that we were all the children of the same circumstance.
July 28, 2013
Devoid of physical human contact, the body has no choice but to turn on itself. Its first victim will be its own mind.
August 15, 2013
There are things in this world more lethal than love, but none more torturous.
August 2013
The things we do for absolution, the people we go to, these say more about our sins than the sins themselves.
August 15, 2013
There are secrets hidden behind, under, and in between words. Be wary as you delve into those secrets, as they may tell you more about yourself than you ever wished to know.
August 15, 2013
...In the way that you are my soul.
August 15, 2013
There it is, the answer to all my questions from all my life. But, I'm cautious, could it be so simple? So long searching, and here it is?
September 6, 2013
Ye wo haath hain jo hamesha tumhari duaa mein uthain gey.
(These are those hands that are always raised in prayer for you)
September 7, 2013
Is it art that brings out the longing in me? Or, is it the longing that pulls me towards art?
September 7, 2013
...And before I hit the ground, I stopped.
September 17, 2013
The wishes I never dared to make. The whispers I never dared to speak. The words I never dared to write. The places I never dared to go. The thoughts that people told me I couldn't have. The peace the world tried to convince me didn't exist. The belief I never could accept. Everything. He is everything.
September 21, 2013
I often try to convince myself that if I can just come up with enough words, I could fill the distance between us. The thousands of miles, as you and I reside on opposite sides of the world. But the truth remains that I will remain held in a state of incomplete until I can once and for all hold you in my arms. Until I can feel your heart beating next to mine. Until you are mine and I am yours to hold forever, unparted. Until you can look into my eyes and see and know that the soul that resides in my body is not mine, but yours. Until I can leave this skin and become yours.
September 26, 2013
One minute. One minute. One minute. I cannot reiterate that enough, just one minute. That's all I want. That's all it takes. But, that's a lie. What I really want is millions of minutes. A whole long lifetime of minutes. And even that wont be enough.
October 8, 2013
Sometimes, I am afraid to read poetry. I'm afraid it might find me. The "me" that I'm looking for. I'm scared that it may change my life.
November 26, 2013
In that moment just before sleep, when my breathing is completely level and my eyelids couldn't open if they wanted to, just as all that I am about to give into sweet slumber, you float across my mind, a smile flutters at my lips, and I sink.
January 28, 2014
When you come from such darkness, your greatest fear is that you will never become the light.
February 12, 2014
I don't want to live here or there. Why can't I make my home in your arms?
February 25, 2014
You can cry and cry until you can't cry any more. And then, that's it. You just can't cry anymore. You eventually have to get up and go.
March 4, 2014
One day, I want to forgive myself. I don't know how to, yet. But maybe no one does at the age of 26. Maybe it will take another 26 years.
June 18, 2014
I wonder if, in the space of this lifetime, I will be able to tell you that I love you enough times.
Oct 6, 2014
It's as if I've spent my whole life as loose particles and it's not until you touched me that I solidify.
Oct 29, 2014
If I burn this place down, will I finally be free or with it inflame my demons further?
March 26, 2015
A kiss of comfort, in that moment, would have been quite cruel. I, the giver of the kiss, would be relieved that I had given comfort. The receiver, however, with this act of pity, may be pushed farther into feelings of ineptitude.
April 13, 2015
At times, the world gets so big that all seven billion people on it are so far away.
April 21, 2015
I am starting to discover that life is easier when you don't stand up for yourself. The less you struggle against, the less struggles you have.
July 14, 2019
I wish I could ask you to tell me what I need to know.
July 14, 2019
Sometimes, it takes too long to admit to yourself what you already knew.
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