You’re such a tease
And it tickles.
A lite, sweet joy
A scented breeze.
The moon is as fickle
As the words you employ.
The smile on my face
A sparkle in your eyes.
Finger that caress
As gentle as lace.
Reducing me to sighs
And leaving me to guess.
Lips I long to kiss
Waiting I cannot bear.
A twinkling light
Don’t blink and miss.
One moment there
And then you’re out of sight.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Four Letters
A single word whispered, then said
Four letters never had so much control
All thoughts have now been shed
To move the mind to hear repeated
Again and again just that one word
The body of blood becomes heated
Hands now engender an emergency
Pulling closer and sliding away
Lips search over skin in urgency
Breathing becomes shallow breaths
Waves of anticipation within
Causing a shudder through my chest
Two bodies move to mold as one
Filling every empty space between
Oh, wishes to stop the coming of the sun
Moving body, soul, mountains and moon
Release comes in a shiver of ecstasy
And then two as one will swoon
Four letters never had so much control
All thoughts have now been shed
To move the mind to hear repeated
Again and again just that one word
The body of blood becomes heated
Hands now engender an emergency
Pulling closer and sliding away
Lips search over skin in urgency
Breathing becomes shallow breaths
Waves of anticipation within
Causing a shudder through my chest
Two bodies move to mold as one
Filling every empty space between
Oh, wishes to stop the coming of the sun
Moving body, soul, mountains and moon
Release comes in a shiver of ecstasy
And then two as one will swoon
Monday, October 3, 2011
Be Quiet!
Yesterday, my parents and I went to visit some extended family. While there, the men sat on one side of the living room, talking about the politics of their (our?) native country. On the other side of the living room, I sat with my mother, my aunt and my cousin (the only other woman there). To make conversation, my aunt asked me what I'm studying in school. Naturally, I answered by telling her that I am in my senior year of Undergrad, double majoring in Literature and Women's Studies; and that I intend to do my Master's in Women's Literature. My aunt comes from a briefly educated background, so she asked me to explain what that meant in detail.
I thought she was asking what I meant when I said that I wanted to do my Master's in Women's Literature, but then she specified that she did not understand what it meant to be studying Women's Studies. So we began to converse about what it meant to be studying Women's Studies. I told her about how we studied the history of societies all over the world, and how most of them have evolved patriarchally. How women are second class citizens in most societies around the world. About how so much is expected of women and how little is given to them (not talking about material things here). As I explained these things to her in detail, she understood what I was studying and the intent.
As we continued to discuss the conditions of women around the world, we were interrupted by my uncle. His interruption was to insert into our conversation his opinion that if it is deemed within the Quran (if you haven't figured it out yet, our family is one of devote Muslims) that men are entitled to more than women are entitled to, then that is the way the world is meant to be and we have no right to want something different.
Here is where the evening made a downwards turn. You see, coming from a Pakistani, and therefore Muslim background, my uncle expects that he is allowed to interrupt any conversation at any given moment, regardless of the fact that he may or may not actually knows what is being discussed, and intercede his own opinion as though it is fact; as this behavior is the accepted behavior in our culture in the favor of men.
But, wait, the best part (sarcasm) of the evening hasn't even begun yet. I, being the young and headstrong opinionated woman that I am, immediately stated two things to him, outright: 1) That, as he has not been following our discussion from the beginning, he does not know the points of the discussion well enough to intercede an opinion that is valid to this discussion. 1) That the whole world does not function under the rules of Islam; that there is a difference between what is 'ordained' or 'decreed' by God or his Prophets and how mankind chooses to behave.
Immediately after I stated these two statement to my uncle out loud and in front of everyone, my aunt's hand flew up to cover my mouth and my mother actually said, "Sofie! Be quiet!". THAT, my friends, was the most important part of the evening. Removing my aunt's hand from my mouth and shooting my mother a look that said "don't you dare," I asked out-right: did I say something wrong?
But, you see, in everyone there's opinion, I did say something wrong. Not only did I publicly talk back to my uncle, which is supposedly disrespectful, but I also stated to everyone that Islamic law isn't fair. Strict and out-right blasphemy, in their opinion.
After a moment of shock from everyone, my uncle said, "it doesn't matter what you think; what the Quran says is correct." To which I replied, "it's quite easy for a man to say that the law of the Quran is the only way things should be, for the Quran's laws favor men over women. But if you had to live even one day as a woman, you would never say so easily that there is no need for adjustment."
The women there did not disagree with me that Islam gave them less of a voice, nor that it was unbalanced; but the women there would also NEVER have the gall to say such things out loud, their culture and their religion forbade it. After more gasps of shock, more silence and more anger, my uncle and I went back and forth with these kinds of statements.
Then, one of my male cousins said the most stereotypical thing a man can say to a woman. His statement: women say they want equality, they want to same respect and work as a man, they say they want to be president; but when they need a heavy box lifted, they ask a man to do it.
Oh, yes, that was his oh-so-original anti-feminist argument. And I can already see so many of you ladies, my fellow feminists, laughing and shaking your heads at his pathetic statement.
To which I answered: 1) Not ALL women need men to lift their boxes for them. 2) It's never happened, has it, that a man ever had to ask another man to help him lift a heavy box? 3) Of course, boxes can only ever be to heavy for women to lift, right? 4) Because, of course, no box has ever been too heavy for any one man to lift.
To which he replied: No, of course men have asked men to help them carry heavy boxes.
To which I replied: So, if it is ok for a man to ask another man to help him carry a heavy box, why is it not ok for a woman to ask a man, or even another woman, to help her carry a heavy box?
At which point my father declared that we should get going. So, everyone pretended that nothing unpleasant had occurred this evening; we all hugged, smiled and waved our good-byes.
But it wasn't over for me yet. I was simmering, and not because of the statements being said back and forth, but because of one particular moment of the evening. And it just so happens that my mother was simmering about the same thing: the moment when she told me to "be quiet!"
After a few minutes of driving in silence, my mother said to me, "Sofie, you shouldn't have said those things!"
To which I replied, angrily and with lightening speed: WHY NOT!! Did I say something wrong?! And you know I hate it when you tell me to 'be quiet'!
To which she responded, just as angrily: Yes, you said everything wrong! And you were disrespectful! What will everyone think now? Now everyone will say you are disrespectful, and that you are a bad person, and the you are a bad influence, and they will tell everyone they know about these things and then everyone will think lowly of you!
To which I responded: I don't care what any of them think about me! They cannot decide who I am! They can't make me into what they want! Only I can be who I am! And Who cares if they like me or not! Who cares if they think I'm a horrible person! They are not the ones who have to live my life! I am the one who has to live my life! I am the one who is responsible for me! AND I WILL NOT SIT BACK AND HOLD MY TONGUE WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO TELL ME TO SHUT UP AND BE A 'GOOD LITTLE GIRL'!
To which she replied: So you want to spend your who life fighting with people? You want to spend your life having people thing you are disrespectful!
To which I responded: Mom, I am not afraid to fight for what I believe in! If fighting is the only way that I can get someone to let me be free, then, yes, I will fight with everyone! I will fight the whole world if that is what it takes to be able to think for myself! And I could care less if people think I'm disrespectful for speaking my mind. I know that they are wrong, I know that they are afraid that their hierarchy will be toppled; that is all! I will not be silent just because they are afraid to give up their power in the name of progress!
To which she responded: Then you will spend your whole life fighting!
To which I responded: It will be better than dying in silence! I, for one, am not afraid to fight for what I believe in. And don't you ever tell me to "be quiet" again! All my life, ever since I was a little girl, you have been telling me to "be quiet," and I have told you a million times over to stop that!
To which she respond: That's because you have been speaking out in disrespect all your life! I don't know what I'm going to do with you!
To which I responded: All my life, why couldn't you support me? All I ever wanted was for people to stop telling me how to behave and how to think! God gave me life so that I could live it! Not so that other people could live it for me! And as for fighting, what is the point of life if you are not willing to fight for it? All I ever wanted was to be free! Why couldn't you ever tell me to fight for that instead of telling me to "be quiet" all my life?
After which she remained quiet (but angry, I could tell), and we drove the rest of the way home in silence. But I couldn't stop replaying the whole evening in my head. And I've come to a few conclusions:
1) God gave you life so that you can live it.
2) No one can live your life but you.
3) This world wants nothing less than to tear you down. So, don't spend your life trying to appease it. Be your own person, live your own life.
4) Never be afraid to speak your mind, regardless of who you are supposedly offending.
5) I will NEVER ever stop fight this world until it gives me what is rightly mine; my freedom, in each and every way.
I thought she was asking what I meant when I said that I wanted to do my Master's in Women's Literature, but then she specified that she did not understand what it meant to be studying Women's Studies. So we began to converse about what it meant to be studying Women's Studies. I told her about how we studied the history of societies all over the world, and how most of them have evolved patriarchally. How women are second class citizens in most societies around the world. About how so much is expected of women and how little is given to them (not talking about material things here). As I explained these things to her in detail, she understood what I was studying and the intent.
As we continued to discuss the conditions of women around the world, we were interrupted by my uncle. His interruption was to insert into our conversation his opinion that if it is deemed within the Quran (if you haven't figured it out yet, our family is one of devote Muslims) that men are entitled to more than women are entitled to, then that is the way the world is meant to be and we have no right to want something different.
Here is where the evening made a downwards turn. You see, coming from a Pakistani, and therefore Muslim background, my uncle expects that he is allowed to interrupt any conversation at any given moment, regardless of the fact that he may or may not actually knows what is being discussed, and intercede his own opinion as though it is fact; as this behavior is the accepted behavior in our culture in the favor of men.
But, wait, the best part (sarcasm) of the evening hasn't even begun yet. I, being the young and headstrong opinionated woman that I am, immediately stated two things to him, outright: 1) That, as he has not been following our discussion from the beginning, he does not know the points of the discussion well enough to intercede an opinion that is valid to this discussion. 1) That the whole world does not function under the rules of Islam; that there is a difference between what is 'ordained' or 'decreed' by God or his Prophets and how mankind chooses to behave.
Immediately after I stated these two statement to my uncle out loud and in front of everyone, my aunt's hand flew up to cover my mouth and my mother actually said, "Sofie! Be quiet!". THAT, my friends, was the most important part of the evening. Removing my aunt's hand from my mouth and shooting my mother a look that said "don't you dare," I asked out-right: did I say something wrong?
But, you see, in everyone there's opinion, I did say something wrong. Not only did I publicly talk back to my uncle, which is supposedly disrespectful, but I also stated to everyone that Islamic law isn't fair. Strict and out-right blasphemy, in their opinion.
After a moment of shock from everyone, my uncle said, "it doesn't matter what you think; what the Quran says is correct." To which I replied, "it's quite easy for a man to say that the law of the Quran is the only way things should be, for the Quran's laws favor men over women. But if you had to live even one day as a woman, you would never say so easily that there is no need for adjustment."
The women there did not disagree with me that Islam gave them less of a voice, nor that it was unbalanced; but the women there would also NEVER have the gall to say such things out loud, their culture and their religion forbade it. After more gasps of shock, more silence and more anger, my uncle and I went back and forth with these kinds of statements.
Then, one of my male cousins said the most stereotypical thing a man can say to a woman. His statement: women say they want equality, they want to same respect and work as a man, they say they want to be president; but when they need a heavy box lifted, they ask a man to do it.
Oh, yes, that was his oh-so-original anti-feminist argument. And I can already see so many of you ladies, my fellow feminists, laughing and shaking your heads at his pathetic statement.
To which I answered: 1) Not ALL women need men to lift their boxes for them. 2) It's never happened, has it, that a man ever had to ask another man to help him lift a heavy box? 3) Of course, boxes can only ever be to heavy for women to lift, right? 4) Because, of course, no box has ever been too heavy for any one man to lift.
To which he replied: No, of course men have asked men to help them carry heavy boxes.
To which I replied: So, if it is ok for a man to ask another man to help him carry a heavy box, why is it not ok for a woman to ask a man, or even another woman, to help her carry a heavy box?
At which point my father declared that we should get going. So, everyone pretended that nothing unpleasant had occurred this evening; we all hugged, smiled and waved our good-byes.
But it wasn't over for me yet. I was simmering, and not because of the statements being said back and forth, but because of one particular moment of the evening. And it just so happens that my mother was simmering about the same thing: the moment when she told me to "be quiet!"
After a few minutes of driving in silence, my mother said to me, "Sofie, you shouldn't have said those things!"
To which I replied, angrily and with lightening speed: WHY NOT!! Did I say something wrong?! And you know I hate it when you tell me to 'be quiet'!
To which she responded, just as angrily: Yes, you said everything wrong! And you were disrespectful! What will everyone think now? Now everyone will say you are disrespectful, and that you are a bad person, and the you are a bad influence, and they will tell everyone they know about these things and then everyone will think lowly of you!
To which I responded: I don't care what any of them think about me! They cannot decide who I am! They can't make me into what they want! Only I can be who I am! And Who cares if they like me or not! Who cares if they think I'm a horrible person! They are not the ones who have to live my life! I am the one who has to live my life! I am the one who is responsible for me! AND I WILL NOT SIT BACK AND HOLD MY TONGUE WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO TELL ME TO SHUT UP AND BE A 'GOOD LITTLE GIRL'!
To which she replied: So you want to spend your who life fighting with people? You want to spend your life having people thing you are disrespectful!
To which I responded: Mom, I am not afraid to fight for what I believe in! If fighting is the only way that I can get someone to let me be free, then, yes, I will fight with everyone! I will fight the whole world if that is what it takes to be able to think for myself! And I could care less if people think I'm disrespectful for speaking my mind. I know that they are wrong, I know that they are afraid that their hierarchy will be toppled; that is all! I will not be silent just because they are afraid to give up their power in the name of progress!
To which she responded: Then you will spend your whole life fighting!
To which I responded: It will be better than dying in silence! I, for one, am not afraid to fight for what I believe in. And don't you ever tell me to "be quiet" again! All my life, ever since I was a little girl, you have been telling me to "be quiet," and I have told you a million times over to stop that!
To which she respond: That's because you have been speaking out in disrespect all your life! I don't know what I'm going to do with you!
To which I responded: All my life, why couldn't you support me? All I ever wanted was for people to stop telling me how to behave and how to think! God gave me life so that I could live it! Not so that other people could live it for me! And as for fighting, what is the point of life if you are not willing to fight for it? All I ever wanted was to be free! Why couldn't you ever tell me to fight for that instead of telling me to "be quiet" all my life?
After which she remained quiet (but angry, I could tell), and we drove the rest of the way home in silence. But I couldn't stop replaying the whole evening in my head. And I've come to a few conclusions:
1) God gave you life so that you can live it.
2) No one can live your life but you.
3) This world wants nothing less than to tear you down. So, don't spend your life trying to appease it. Be your own person, live your own life.
4) Never be afraid to speak your mind, regardless of who you are supposedly offending.
5) I will NEVER ever stop fight this world until it gives me what is rightly mine; my freedom, in each and every way.
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