Celebrating Eid With An Undertone of Fear

As many of you know, I am not a practicing Muslim. Although I was born into a large family of religious/practicing Muslims, and raised with the same values and teachings of Islam as everyone else in my family, I, for personal reasons, do not practice the religion of Islam. But that is not what I want to discuss here.

Although I am not a practicing Muslim, I have always respected and encouraged my family's involvement in their religion.

I respect Islam, not because the Quran or anyone else says to respect it, but because there are over 1.3 billion people out there who have faith in their lives and their hearts. But more than that, I respect it because respect is something I have always believed was a basic and common courtesy that everyone and everything deserves; and because religion (any and every religion) is one of the big aspects in life that needs to be respected, whether you follow/believe in it or not, because it involves so many people across the world.

Although I am not a practicing Muslim, I go to many major religious holiday events and gatherings with my family. Even though I do not, for the most part, actively participate in the events, I still attend them with my family because that is what families do. We go places together, and we support each others choices and beliefs.

Eid-ul-Fitar and Eid-ul-Adha are two of those major religious holidays; for Muslims they are as important as Christmas and Easter are for Christians and Catholics. For almost 23 years (the span of my life) now, and even longer than that, my entire family has been celebrating Eid. In the morning, we all go to the fairground that has been rented for the day so that several mosques worth of worshipers can come and pray together; pray in the same manner that I assume Christians do on Christmas morning, though in a different method. After that, there is a festival at the fairground, with stalls, performances, rides, games, foods and sweets, face painting, balloon animals, and so much more. Families stay there at least half the day, sometimes longer, so the children can play and enjoy and so that extended families can spend time together.

For 23 years now, it has been the most carefree day of the year for me and my family. Everyone takes the day off from school and work, we get dressed in our best clothes, and we just enjoy the day without worrying about anything. Moms don't pressure you to eat a healthy meal because they know you only get today to stuff yourself full of cotton candy and ice cream. Dads give you all the money you want to buy tickets for games and rides.

But now, for the first time in 23 years, when we leave home in the morning to head to the fairgrounds, I'll be worrying about the safety of my family. There has been, in the last few weeks, a great increase of animosity towards Muslims all over America. People have been protesting outside of mosques as American Muslims go for Friday prayer (the Muslim equivalent to the Christian's Sunday prayer), activists and politicians are labeling up-and-coming mosques (in several different states) as terrorist training/planning houses instead of houses of worship, activists and politicians are calling out for an end to Islam in America all together, and there is also all the uproar against the 'Ground Zero' Mosque.

And this year, through no controllable factor or fault by humans (let alone Muslims), Eid will fall on either September 10th or 11th. You see, Islam is a religion which functions by the lunar calendar. Eid, which celebrates the end of the month of Ramadan (a month of fasting, prayer, and spiritual reflection), falls on the first day of the next lunar month; which this year will be either September 10th or 11th.

So, imagine our internal conflict at the prospect of celebrating on September 11th. We don't want to cause anyone any kid of pain by celebrating and holding festivals on a day when most Americans mourn the death of the victims of the attack on the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001, but we can't exactly deny ourselves a day of celebration that we have been celebrating for years and years and that we have earned after a month of fasting, praying, and reflecting.

And with all of the hate- and fear-mongering that has been directed towards Islam and Muslims in the past few weeks, can you imagine what those same hate- and fear-mongerers will have to say about an Islamic celebration held on September 10th or 11th. They will say that Muslims all across America are celebrating the victory of the terrorists who crashed the planes into the Twin Towers, that Muslims are celebrating the death of the Americans who died in those attacks, and that our Eid celebration is a 'slap in the face' to all Americans, especially anyone who lost someone to the attacks of September 11, 2001. When, in fact, truth could not be farther from those claims.

And with all of the protesting and conflict that is already in the air, can you imagine the worry and the fear with which we will head towards the Eid prayer and celebration in the morning. Will there be protesters outside of the fairgrounds, or worse, on the fairgrounds? Will they heckle us as we enter? Will they heckle us as we try to enjoy the festival? Will any of them get physical and violent? What if my mother or father gets injured? What if my brother gets injured? What if my fragile grandmother gets injured? What if one of my aunts or uncles or one of my cousins gets injured?

Some mosques have already canceled their Eid celebrations all together, out of fear for the safety of their congregants. That was very painful news to hear. It makes my heart heavy to realize the religious persecution that Muslims are facing in a country that was built on a foundation of religious freedom by people who were fleeing religious persecution.

The reason I am writing this is because I want all of you to have a face to go along with your thoughts and opinions of Eid. A face that you know and can recognize as human. A face that would not purposely cause you any kind of pain. I am writing this in hopes that you will realize what Eid means to an average Muslim-American. I am writing this so that when you hear someone talking about 'supposed evil Muslims who are celebrating the acts of terrorism', you will know better than to believe those claims. I am writing this in hopes that when you hear those claims, you will choose to speak out for the truth. I am writing this in hopes that you might pass this message on to everyone you know so that they may also know. I am writing this in hopes that on the morning of Eid, and continued throughout the day and even after, my family will be safe and be able to celebrate in peace.

He Says I Remind Him

He says I broke his heart
I remind him that it's not possible
He says he loved me
I remind him of all the other girls

He says I meant more to him than them
I remind him how often he spread those words
He says I don't understand
I remind him that it is actually quite simple

He says he can't help it
I remind him that he is allowed what he wants
He says he doesn't understand my leaving
I remind him that I have self-worth

He says I am being selfish
I remind him that one of us has to value me
He says I am thinking about it too much
I remind him that someone should

He says he is sorry for the way he is
I remind him that there is no need
He says I should give him a second chance
I remind him that I know better